Image of “Baker With Bread Loaf” by vectorolieI courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Bon Jour and Cheerio! I am delighted to introduce you to the cosmopolitan and continental Muriel! I enjoyed her blog and her book and I wanted to get to know her better. Please read the excerpt from her new book and my 5 star review- you will love Muriel and her writing!

Thank you and Merci, Muriel for taking the time to chat with us.

Hello! My name is Muriel (that’s Mu – ree – elle not Mew – ree – el), and I am a self-proclaimed French Yummy Mummy living London. I blog at FrenchYummyMummy.com. I am often featured in magazines and newspapers, and asked to comment on radio and on television about all things French: I even made the cover of The Times clutching a baguette. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always plain sailing, and frankly, I have been extremely lucky.
I used to live in Paris and, when my husband found a job in London, I had two options: change husband or change job. I chose the latter, and the whole family moved to London as a result.

I quickly found a new job but struggled to understand the rules of the game on this side of the Channel. To make matters even worse, I wasn’t taken seriously, probably because of my French accent. Being a French women in a Corporate environment in London is a double whammy: you have to deal with the sexist comments and the cliches on the French. Because just by crossing the Channel, I had apparently become some sort of mysterious creature that was almost too beautiful to have a brain of her own. So much for having studied quantum physics, abstract algebra and number theory.

That said, I am a glass-half-full sort of person, and I decided to start blogging about my experiences. It was all about seeing the funny side of things, and making fun of my experiences.
The success of my blog took everybody by surprise (including me), and I decided to turn it into my very own unofficial guide to being British. Because despite everything I say about the British, I love it here, in London. In fact, I love it so much that we all have British passports now.

Read an excerpt from Le Guide Official to being British.

Don’t you love the cover! C’est adorable!

So, tell me, how British are you? Do you want to take the test?
Here is a short list of 5 easy questions.
First Question:

Do you add the tea before milk or milk before the tea?

Now, think of an answer.

Response: It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that your answer must be more than 100 words long (and preferably longer) and that you make your position in the class system abundantly clear by declaring a preference for one way or the other (milk first = working class, milk last = middle class and upwards)

Second Question:

Your new neighbour is putting his rubbish in front of his house, for the bin collection. He is in his boxers (and nothing else despite the biting cold). You have to walk close to him as you are going to the Tube station.

How do you behave?

Answer:
Just pretend it is totally normal to be outside with almost no clothes on. Make small talk, but from a safe distance. Be polite. Think along the following lines:
“ Hello! It is getting colder, isn’t it?”
“Hi! Lovely to finally put a (small pause)…face on a name!”

Don’t blush, don’t stay silent. Don’t make fun of the situation, it would be rude. Even if it is extremely tempting don’t say “I hadn’t realised that stripes were making a comeback!”. You don’t want to take (too much) advantage of the situation just yet. After all, it is all a question of timing, right?

Image of “London Bus (routemaster)” by wiangya courtesy of freedigitialphotos.net

Third Question:
In which section of the supermarket do you find Yorkshire puddings?

Answer:
Not in the biscuits and pudding section. Try the frozen section, silly!
However the real test of Britishness is whether or not you can make your own Yorkshire puddings. Apparently it is all about the cooking oil being warm enough. That said, for most of us non-natives, it would be wise to assume that mastering the art of making Yorkshire pudding is simply unattainable.

Fourth Question:
How much time does a British guy need to make a move on someone he likes?

Answer:
This is a tricky one. The general consensus is that two months is an absolute minimum, and you should expect hours of small talk about useless matters before the guy will give you a hint of his feelings. That said, there are cases where it can be years or even decades. As a general rule, you should also know that most declarations of love happen down the pub after one too many pints, and need to be reconfirmed the morning after the night before to avoid any disappointment.

Fifth Question:
You are very late for an important job interview because you child threw up on your outfit and you had to change just before leaving home. To make matters even worse, there was a signaling incident on the Tube and you got stuck half an hour on the Underground.

How do you behave when you finally make it for the interview?

Answer:
Pull yourself together, for God’s sake! Stiff upper lip is absolutely de rigueur, even if you are so upset you want to cry. Play it down, and say things like “There was a little bit of a blooper this morning…”
Make it look like it is one of these things. Apologise, but not too much. After all, it is not your fault. And get the job of course.

So, be honest now: how did you fare? I told you it was hard work to become British, so don’t say you were not warned. If you got correct answers for at least two of these questions, here is what I would say to you: watch out! You are getting there without even realizing it! This guide will give you useful tips and insights to integrate as painlessly as possible. Believe me: if it has happened to me, it can happen.

Here’s my five star review of Le Guide Official to being British. I highly recommend it- you will enjoy learning to become British!