In 2017, I resolved to be open and welcoming to anything that came to me. I continued my air of expectancy into 2018 and I began to thrive! On September, 2018:
Yes, I said “Hello!” to many positive ways to live. I’m practically perfect! End of post!
Ha! For 2019, I am going to keep on thriving and saying hello to positive ways to live. And sometimes I also have to be ready to say goodbye. This year I’m also sharing a joint goal with my husband- “Swedish Death Cleaning.” (And before we launch in to this, my apologies for this untidy post- I’m bubbling over with ideas!)
If it’s Monday, it must be Swedish Death Cleaning Day!
And yes, we try to do it each Monday, because Tuesday is trash day. Ok, let me explain.
I don’t know how to pronounce dostadning, but it’s a hybrid of the words for death and cleaning, the process of cleaning house before you die, rather then leaving it up to your loved ones to do after you’re gone. If you have ever had to do this sad task, and if you are around my age you probably have, you know that it’s hard and painful to go through the family home and do a final clearing of fifty years worth of living. So, this is why my husband and I have a new goal: Swedish Death Cleaning.
We don’t think “Swedish death cleaning” sounds sad- it actually makes us chuckle when we announce- “time to head to the basement for our Swedish Death Cleaning. It’s our special club.
I first read about this method online and found the book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. According to the author, “Generally people have too many things in their homes,” says Magnusson in a YouTube video (According to Time magazine ). “I think it’s a good thing to get rid of things you don’t need.” The author recommends beginning this process around age 60, but Magnusson says she’s always death cleaned, “because I want to have it nice around me, keep some order.”
My spouse and I agree about order and a calm living area. We also want to be ready- what if we want to downsize our home?
I like this tip: as you declutter, you can keep sentimental objects like old letters and photographs. Author Magnusson keeps a “throw-away box,” which she describes as things that are “just for me.” When she dies, her children know they can simply throw that box away, without even looking through its contents.
Even though I’ve never been a fan of IKEA, which is mentioned in this book as a good example of Swedish life, I accept that many of you are fans of the furniture as well as the Swedish way of life. Cue, “Lagom!” Learn more about this “Just Enough” approach to life.
Lagom: Not Too Little, Not Too Much: The Swedish Art of Living a Balanced, Happy Life by Niki Brantmark
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I’ve been following many bloggers and posts on social media that encourage us to believe, “You are enough.” At first I didn’t understand what that meant. To me, being “enough” meant that I’d done ok, the minimum, my version of the “Gentleman’s C”. I have always wanted to be better than “good enough.” After reading the book, I can see that there is a time, place and a lifestyle for living with “Not too Little, Not Too Much, Just Right.” Which sounds like Goldilocks and her three bear friends, doesn’t it?
The concept of “Lagom” is a popular one now. In this book, the author presents an upbeat introduction to incorporating Lagom into all aspects of your life, the Swedish way. By making “subtle changes to your routine you will not only bring a sense of equilibrium to your life; it will also bring you a greater feeling of calm and contentment. Chapters on Lagom in your personal life, family and relations, your house and belongings give clear examples and are accompanied by lovely photos, and some recipes. A “fika” coffee break sounds lovely!
I enjoyed the Swedish Proverbs that were included. “The right amount is best.” “Those who wish to sing always find a song.” The author also posts on Instagram and has a blog and the book reads as if it were a compilation of these posts. Still, she writes with earnest enthusiasm and gives us a solid introduction to Lagom.
Pauline emailed me and told me about Indie with Ease and she asked if I wanted a copy. YES! As soon as it zoomed into my kindle, I began to read it. And I’ve been highlighting so many nuggets and gems. Here are some of the treasures I found.
“In my six years in the publishing business, I’ve learned to set realistic expectations, focus doggedly on only the important tasks, and take care of my energy, creativity, and morale.” (See- that works for all of us!)
“The Swedish Concept of Lagom- Pauline encourages us think about what ‘not to little, but not too much’ means to us in deciding our writing goals. Lagom represents moderation and balance, not excess or extreme.” (Aha!)
You will learn about “repeater” and “completer” tasks. (This was a Wow! idea for me.) “Get realistic about the spectrum of could-dos which float around in your mind.”
Pauline tells us the benefits of meditation, or as she describes it- “paying attention.” 💯
Pauline has a calm and encouraging style and gently shares what she has learned in a positive way. And she wants to connect.”Please get in touch, I would be delighted to hear from you by email with questions or reactions you’s like to share.”
More about Pauline Wiles: British by birth, Pauline is now a contented resident of California, although she admits to occasional yearnings for afternoon tea and historic homes.
Her debut novel, Saving Saffron Sweeting, reached the quarter final of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award and was a number one Kindle Best Seller. The stand-alone prequel, Secrets in the Sky, was reviewed by Publishers Weekly as ‘an enticing read’. Sweet Pursuits is the third book in the series.
Pauline has also released a free book of short stories, along with Indie With Ease, aimed at helping other self-published authors reduce stress and boost productivity.
When not writing, Pauline can be found getting the steps wrong in a Zumba class or calculating how many miles she has to run to justify an extra piece of cake. She is also fond of daydreaming about flying herself and a reader to London for tea.
Retirees, boomer friends, golden agers what keeps you awake at night, besides the need to trot to the bathroom? You toss, turn, throw off the covers. Is it because you are too hot or is something else troubling you in the dark hours? Death, illness, finances? Or…how about downsizing and what to do with all your possessions, your lifetime treasures? Yes, worries about decluttering can stress us all.
I am a writer, blogger, book reviewer, and bon vivant and encourager. I have lived my entire life in Tropical Ohio. My goal is to make friends with everyone in the world. I wrote a fiction series, The Golden Age of Charli, that presents the problems and praises, and the love and laughter of family life and retirement. My passions are blogging, reading and reviewing, and writing. My life is a WIP.
Molly Stevens
January 10, 2019 at 6:20 amI just ordered the book about death cleaning, Jena, and am anxious to read it! For many years I purged at the end of the year so I’d have a fresh start for the new year. But I got away from the practice when my life was busy, working full time. This new year is my first as a retiree, so time is not an issue – unless I decide it is. 😉 The other books in your line up for the new year look great, too. Clean away, my friend!
Jena Henry
January 10, 2019 at 9:56 amHappy retirement- or really- happy new time in life! Our living areas are in pretty good shape…but then there’s the basement. We need to tie the rope with bells on before we venture down there! Happy New Year and have fun tidying your ledge.
Beth Ann Chiles
January 10, 2019 at 7:48 amI love your enthusiasm and your gusto when you embrace a new idea or goal. I was just talking to a friend about “things” last night . As we are both approaching 60 (she this year and me next year) we were talking about how we want to be at 60 and what our goals are. Healthier, more content, releasing all that holds us back from being who and what we should be, etc. Downsizing and making a simpler nest seem to top the list of many and while I am not downsizing in house right now I am trying to get control of “stuff”. Thanks for sharing your always fun and interesting take on life. You inspire me. 🙂
Jena Henry
January 10, 2019 at 9:59 amThanks Beth! There is something about turning 60 isn’t there!?! I am enthusiastic! I feel that making my/our living space how we want it improves all the other important areas you mentioned- health, energy, outlook! Happy New Year!
Angela Petch
January 10, 2019 at 8:08 amI applaud your goals for the coming year, but I would definitely find it hard to give up my ed wine, living as I do for six months each year in bella Italia.
I heard a brilliant interview about this preparation for the final stages (which I think is exciting and liberating…) on our own Radio 4. It’s so sensible. And the author finds her life so much fuller by being in emptier surroundings. It’s less selfish for our off spring too. When my parents died (far too early, at the age of 70), we had a mountain of stuff to sort. They were both avid collectors and hoarders (most likely due to the fact they’d live through five years of deprivation in WW2) and we had a task and a half on our hands to clear it all. Thanks for sharing. Only last week, my hubby resolved to do some clearing of clutter and to seriously think of finding a property nearer our daughter and grandchildren. We are lucky to have family. Let’s make time AND SPACE, mentally and materially to enjoy. Happy New Year!
Jena Henry
January 10, 2019 at 10:05 amThanks for your good thoughts Angela! My husband and I don’t know what will happen. Some days we say that we will keep our house forever, and at other times, we envision ourself somewhere else- smaller, warmer, big city, ??? Our kids and family are all in the area, so that’s a blessing. Here’s to a wonderful new year! *raises glass of sparkling water*
Laura Bettinger
January 10, 2019 at 8:59 amLove love the Swedish Death Cleaning concept! Oh I need to read all of these books and get organized as yes I am one of those wake up in the middle of the night people who is terrorized by her 50×30 storage unit…yikes, nightmares r us! I like the idea of subtle changes, maybe just maybe I could start with baby steps. Thanks Jena for another great and motivating post for a better, simpler more organized life! Can I just clean my purse and that’s it?
Jena Henry
January 10, 2019 at 10:07 amHappy New Year to you and your family! Starting with your purse sounds great- if it brings you joy! I like Marie Kondo’s idea of taking time to thank and love her home- that would be a good place to start, too. My goal for the year is to have fun!
Cara Sue Achterberg
January 10, 2019 at 9:23 amI’ve been so curious about the Swedish Death Cleaning, especially after recently helping clean out my mother’s house. Thanks for all the resources!!
Jena Henry
January 10, 2019 at 10:09 amSorry to hear about your Mom. Cleaning out a lived ones house is so impactful. Beautiful memories mixed with a big chore! Happy New Year!
Pauline Wiles
January 10, 2019 at 11:58 amGoodness, Jena, what a lovely shout-out! Yes, the Lagom concept is really lovely and can be applied to so many areas of our lives. As for the Swedish Death Cleaning, I’m glad to see others are ready to embrace the idea of not leaving “stuff” for future generations. I admit I wonder what task will be ahead of me for my parents, and whenever I visit I try to make gentle, respectful nudges. At least, I think I’m gentle, they probably think I’m the worst nag ever!!
Jena Henry
January 10, 2019 at 12:26 pmHi Pauline- thanks! You encompass many of these concepts in your book and your website. I’m trying to streamline- for me! I like Marie Kondo’s method of thanking our things, too before we send them off- which may make it easier for your parents. Happy New Year!
Judithhb
January 10, 2019 at 1:43 pmWhat a great post Jena!! I will have to come back to read it again. Thanks.
Jena Henry
January 12, 2019 at 9:50 amThank you Judith! Do you want to help me go through the old Christmas decorations?
Lesley Field
January 12, 2019 at 9:06 amBrilliant idea. Every few months my husband says, we need to clear out the attic. A few months later he says the same thing. We did have a big clear out about 18 months ago, but it didn’t look any different. If only I had a magic wand that would do the job. This year we need to stop procrastinating and actually get on and do it. With no children to leave this job to, a niece would probably not be too pleased to discover what were once treasured memories, which were now nothing but trash!! Onward and upward into the loft, that’s the motto for 2019.
Jena Henry
January 12, 2019 at 9:49 amLove it Lesley- onward and upward! To the attic! At our house, we have to head down to the basement! It helps to look at it as a fun project to do together. Happy New Year!
Lesley Field
January 12, 2019 at 1:13 pmI wish we had a basement rather than an attic. Much easier to access. Happy New Year to you too, Jena.
Jessie Cahalin
January 12, 2019 at 11:42 amYour enthusiasm is so infectious and your golden positivity shines here. I’m always clearing stuff out, but soon fill the space with more. Local charity shops love me. I did regret taking all my books to the charity shop.
‘Share memories, not memorabilia’ is a poignant message. My Dad passed away ten years ago and the memories have support us.
Thanks for this post and the book recommendation.
Jena Henry
January 12, 2019 at 12:35 pmJessie- thank you! A few years back when my husband was still working at Bridgestone/Firestone, the employees had a book round-up to send books to the school at the Firestone plantation in Liberia. I was eager to participate, so I chose a big, pile of books. And off they went with the other books on a container ship to Africa! I imagined that my books were going to a pretty open air, grass-roofed school. The reality was they all went to a big, modern school with 16,000 students. Which still made me very happy. Although sometimes I do miss my books, especially now that most of mine are on kindle. And I’m glad you have many good memories of your Dad
Annika Perry
January 16, 2019 at 5:05 amJena, I loved reading this post and am smiling away at all the references to Sweden. I have vaguely heard of ‘döstadning’ but never thought of the literal meaning. Decluttering is always a good idea, and one which I approve of in theory! My husband is hopeless and saves everything – I fear the loft will collapse on us. Over the years I have given away a lot of things, still hanging onto SO many books, some favourite handbags, T-shirts…
OH, it’s funny how Lagom has become such a buzzword, for something that comes naturally to me and most in Scandinavia. In the UK many will aim to have the latest car etc, in Sweden even the richest of people drive around in old Volvos. I cried when my old volvo had to be sold …
A very Happy New Year to you, Jena! xx
Jena Henry
January 16, 2019 at 11:13 amOh Annika we could have so much fun discussing all this, while eating one of those tasty sounding cinnamon rolls, was it? that the Lagom author mentioned in her book. I truly have a hard time comprehending “Lagom”. Here in the US, the phrase “You are Enough” is popular in wellness, mindfulness, healthy eating circles. And maybe “You are enough” isn’t quite the same definition as “Lagom”? I don’t get it- I hear “good enough” which to me means yeah, you’re ok, or your work is “good enough” – nothing wonderful, but adequate. Thank you so much for commenting- I love thinking about all this!